Tutorial: cheating on EXAM(s)
This is a guest post from JMag, one of my associates. He covers a workaround to an issue we have all come across or will come across in our short lifetime(s). We happened to have an exam in the same room and five minutes in, my bleeding nose inspired him. We also understand exam season is over, so feel free to bookmark this page, buy me a beer, and return when you feel like cheating!
Have you ever neglected studying for an exam, and then realized the night before, “Oh no, I have no time to study all of this material, I could cheat…but then I would get caught and get 0% instead of 10%â€â€¦if so, I have the solution for you, young pilot. Here it is, the technique previously spoken of only in an underground cult-like society…the sure-fire way to not get caught cheating on an exam!
First, you must have pages of important information related to the exam in a hidden place when you get to the exam. You can either rip pages out of your textbook, steal other students’ notes, or you could make your own study notes. The ripping-pages-out-of-the-textbook method is your best bet…it’s got everything you need, in pretty decent detail. Nonetheless, store your papers in your pocket, shoe, under your shirt, or some other hidden place.
Now, you’re in the exam room. The first ten questions could be answered by headless babies. But the next few throw you into a state of shock. Normally, a cheater would pull out their notes, and somehow sneak-a-peek at them…this is a boner move! Statistics show that 56 out of every 52 students who attempt this absurd cheating-technique get caught!
You could ask to go to the washroom, however it is still pretty early in the exam, and this would ignite some suspicion in the teacher whom is supervising the exam.
Here’s where the technique comes in. This step is perhaps the easiest, and will be sure to generate lots of lulz from your classmates. Jump up out of your seat, and in a controlled manner, shout “nosebleedâ€, and cover your nose as if some erythrocytes and leukocytes are actually being secreted from your nostrils. The teacher will be all sympathetic (especially if you’re foreign, like me), and won’t question your actions. Leave the classroom promptly; head to the washroom.
Whilst your classmates are searching aimlessly for the answers in their heads, you are in the bathroom, reading your cheat sheets (you may want to go into a dump-stall while doing this, because some creepy teachers use the student washrooms). Determine the answer to your questions(s), and rush back to the classroom, sporting a sad face as if you are upset that you lost exam time due to your nose bleed. This will make the supervising teacher feel sorry for you (again, especially if you‘re foreign, like me), and he or she may give you some extra time! Bonus!
To conclude, be sure to celebrate the completion of each question with a “Yes!†out loud. This is sure to get some lulz from your classmates.